What If?
by ncisladensi
Summary: What if the roles were switched? What if Kensi was LAPD, and Deeks was NCIS? What will happen to Kensi after the ordeal? This is my first fanfic,. Rated M just to be safe. :) I DO NOT OWN NCIS:LA
1. Chapter 1

Kensi's head drooped over her shoulders. She had never felt so much pain. Blood. There was so much of it. All she could taste was the bitter taste of blood. All she could remember was trying to help Sam. She had been tortured for information. They had drilled her teeth, trying to get her to open up about Michele. She lifted her heavy head, her hair was still in a braid, but it was still slightly wet from jumping into the pool to save Sam. She could see Sam, across the hall, not moving or making a sound. She turned her head to the left, hearing a man's voice getting closer. She was hoping to see Deeks, his beautiful blue eyes and messy hair. The smell of the salt water on his beautifully tanned body, but instead she saw Siderov. Kensi's head fell back to down, she was disappointed. He walked by to Kensi and grabbed her chin, almost throwing it upward to make eye contact. He pulled out a gun from his breast pocket and pointed it towards her chest.

"This your last chance...WHO DO YOU WORK FOR?!" he spoke with anger and frustration. Kensi spat out more blood making Siderov feel uncomfortable and disgusted.

"I've told you, I work for LAPD. I was just assigned to stop the arms deal." Kensi's voice was weak, and barley audible.

"We will see about that young lady." He said just before leaving the auto body shop, leaving Sam and Kensi to suffer. Kensi could only think of one person and that one person only. Deeks, he was the only person getting her through the pain. Deeks was her reason to hold on, and fighting till the very end. A small smile pulled at the corners of her mouth, before slowly losing consciousness.

* * *

Deeks was bouncing along in the ambulance. They had of the Russian 'barbies'. Deeks was staring down at one.

"There are two agents lives on the line...where is Siderov's location?" Deeks yelled at the 'barbie'. She looked at with evil eyes.

"I don't know where Siderov is." She replied with a heavy Russian accent Granger, one of the paramedics was checking up on the patient, and spoke up.

"Please sir, we have to get this woman to the hospital, she has been in a serious motorcycle accident, and she will be paralyzed if we don't get there." Deeks shook his head.

"Nope, no," Deeks said while pulling out his gun. He had it pointed towards the paramedics. "Pull over." He glanced over at Granger.

"Pullover, we have a problem." Granger glanced over at Deeks. The ambulance pulled over, and Deeks put his gun back in its holster. He stood up and leaned over the 'barbie' to look at her straight in the face.

"Where is Siderov's location?" Deeks tried again. She didn't answer. He turned over to Granger, who had a sharp instrument in his hand.

"Tell me if you feel anything." Granger put the instrument up to her foot, but didn't make contact with the skin.

"I don't feel anything!" the Russian woman looked scared.

"Tell me where Siderov is, now!" Deeks was getting frustrated.

"He is in an automobile shop, behind Sunset Blvd."

* * *

Deeks and Granger pulled up to the automobile shop. They both hurried out if the car where Deeks bent down towards the door. He reached into his pocket and grabbed a pickand picked the lock. Deeks went in first, holding his gun up to making sure the building was clear. He scanned the room and saw Kensi, lifelessly strapped to the chair. She looked dead. Blood was everywhere. Blood was coming from her mouth, her cheek, and her nose. He mouth has all swollen and blue.  
"No, no, no, no..." Deeks quietly repeated. Deeks shook her arm to wake her up, when she jumped, scared of who was in front of her. Her cheeks and jaw were swollen; it looked like she had cottonballs on either side of her mouth, her bottom lip had also curled out, exposing her blood stained bottom teeth, she could not close her mouth. She was bleeding from her cheek, like a knife had slightly made an incision. There was another one on the bridge of her nose. Blood was all over her mouth and chin.

"Shhh, it's ok, it me."

"Deeks, the kit!" Granger called from across the way, kneeling over a weak Sam.

"You gotta cut me lose."Kensi wasn't more terrified before.

"We don't have much time, and I can't." Deeks kindly said.  
"Uh, w-wha-what's happening?" Kensi was confused and scared.  
"You have to stay here just a while longer, okay?" Deeks said.

Kensi looked at him with a confused face, her eyes kept following Deeks'. Her eye contact never broke. She just kept staring at him, begging to just let her go.

Deeks started to attach the fake blood kit to Kensi's chest and abdomen. She was shaking, and terrified. Her cheeks were puffy, and blood was still dripping from her mouth. She slowly started to drift off; the sight of her like this broke his heart. He had just kissed her less than 48 hours ago, and now she's broken, bleeding and in pain, just like his heart was.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer I do not own NCIS:LA or any of the characters! Thank you all for the follows and favs! Please feel free to leave a review! In chapter 3 I'm going to go my own way, and not follow the tv show! Sorry for the errors, it was typed on my iPad...thank you to all that are reading and reviewing! **

* * *

Michele and Siderov came walking in and they did not seem happy. She was angry and frustrated. They walked over to Kensi, and stood in front of her.

"Do you know this one?" Siderov asked pointing to Kensi, who was looking at Michele. She nodded her head.

"I saw this girl outside of a hotel where we were staying," she paused and shook her head. "I thought she was a cop. Who is she?" she looked at Siderov.

"She's your boyfriend's handler." He looked at Kensi. She looked him straight in the eyes, and spat blood out from her mouth. He continued to talk, "We don't know what agency. I had to make sure I trusted you." The man that had tagged along with them, opened the door to expose Sam. Michele was the last one to enter the brightly illuminated room. She walked up to Sam with a small trot. She grabbed Sam's chin and made eye contact with him. She continued to hold his head up. Kensi lifelessly looked from across the room, helpless and powerless.

"Who are you," she asked with monotone. Sam didn't answer and she started to get frustrated. "Open your eyes, and tell me who you are!" she was about to lose her temper. It made Kensi feel uncomfortable and scared. Sam opened his eyes, and slurred some words, before saying, "I was assigned to go undercover."

"Are you a federal agent," Michele wanted to speed things up, she didn't think she could hold herself together any longer. "Are you a federal agent?" she raised her voice. Her eyes began dancing around Sam's face, waiting for an answer.

"FBI" was all Sam managed to say. Kensi began to speak up.

"Alright listen," all eyes turned off Sam and on to Kensi, "You let us walk outta here," She stopped for a deep breath, and Michele began to approach Kensi. "you guys walk outta here, nobody even knows we're here."

"If you kill a federal agent, you're as good as dea.." Sam was cut off, by two bullets entering his chest, fired from Michele's gun. Michele turned towards Kensi.

"No... no..." Kensi spoke with real fear, knowing what was about to occur. Michele slowly turned around and pointed her gun toward her chest, from the halfway point between her and Sam. She fired two bullets into her chest. Her whole body went forward, she whence in pain. "ARG." That was the sound her mouth made. Her head went forward in pain, and she started to drift to her left, slowly losing the life she had left inside of her. One man's image kept replaying in her head, and she held on with every ounce of strength she had left. Her head was now leaning way past her left shoulder. It took Siderov awhile to process what has just taken place.

"Remember, he said he loved me too." Michele said. Siderov looked at Sam, his he forward, and his eyes were opened, but he knew they were no longer doing their job. Siderov looked back at Michele. "I understand." His eyes never left Michele's.

"Good." Her head was tilted to the right, like she had him under a spell. She glanced over at Sam once more. "Now, let's get out of here and make some money." She turned and walked to the door, not even giving a glance over to at Kensi. There was nothing left to look at.

* * *

The EMTs came running inside the building following Deeks and Granger. Deeks immediately ran towards Kensi and untied the belts, restricting her from movement. She slowly lifted her head; happy to see Deeks, but never physically showed it. One of the EMTs rushed over to Kensi. He had pulled out a flashlight and had asked Kensi to open up.

"Yeah, she's got multiple dental trauma," Kensi turned away from the EMT to spit a large amount of blood from her mouth. "A possible fractured mandible, she's going to need an oral surgeon. Deeks' mouth was open, in shock of the amount of damage that had been done to Kensi. Deeks turned and saw Sam quickly stand up.

"Kens!" Sam made eye contact with a blood covered Kensi. She looked back at him with a tired look. "Did you give up Michele?" Kensi looked Sam, breathing heavily and deeply, like she had just run a marathon. "Was Siderov just playing her right now?" Sam desperately wanted to retrieve the information he's been wanting this whole time.

"I didn't give her up." Kensi was still breathing deeply. "I didn't give her up." The paramedics started to put Sam on his gurney. "Thank you, thank you." He mouthed gratefully and relieved to Kensi.

* * *

Kensi was reeled into the hospital and brought into a trauma room with Sam. Kensi saw that Deeks and Granger had tagged along to make sure everything was alright. Four paramedics and an oral surgeon gathered around Kensi. "You ready? Lift on three, one, two, three." And Kensi was lifted on to a bed, right beside the oral surgeon. Kensi groaned in pain. Deeks couldn't take his eyes off her. He was scared and terrified. Kensi tilted he head to left, and saw instruments sitting on a small metal table. She was really scared, and traumatized.

"I'm Dr. Garcia, I need to look inside your mouth." He looked down at Kensi, he could tell she had a mouthful of blood. She lightly shook her head, "No.." her mouth didn't move, she was trying not avoid swallowing anymore blood. The doctor was getting frustrated.

"Detective, you need to open your mouth! Can you hear me?" Kensi turned her attention off the doctor and turned her head to the right, lifting her chest up in unbearable pain, helping her move. "You've swallowed a lot of blood. I need you to open up." Kensi's hand was on her chest, she used it to push the doctor away. Deeks heard the doctor tell another nurse she was going to be sedated. She was looking back at Sam; "Just give her a minute." was all Sam was able said. Deeks walked over to Kensi, and grabbed her hand; her attention was still on the other side of the room.

"Kens, Kens. You need to listen to the doctor." He looked at her in pain. She turned her head towards his voice, her head was facing him, but her eyes couldn't reach his. Her eyes were dancing around the room. He wanted to stay there for Kensi, but he was pulled away from her by Granger. He was being pulled away from Kensi, the love of his life.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for the late update...I have been really busy with school! I hope this long chapter will make up for it! Thank you for all of you who are reading and reviewing and following! It really means a lot! I hope you enjoy! I do not own NCIS: Los Angeles or any of its characters. **

* * *

Kensi found herself wrapped in Deeks' arms. She had been released from the hospital over two weeks ago, but felt she wasn't ready to go to work. She hadn't had much sleep lately; she couldn't stop thinking about the ordeal. It was killing her from the inside out. She'd already lost her dad, and she felt like she was slowly losing herself. They were lying on the couch, Kensi would slowly drift off, but after five minutes of having her eyes closed, she would jump out of his arms, crying and confused. Deeks hated seeing her like this. It killed him, as much as it was killing her. Deeks loves Kensi, seeing her go through this pain was torturous. All he could do to help was reassure her she was safe, and brush his hands through her hair. She was shaking like she was standing on a cold winter day in a summer getup. Deeks was talking to her in a soft voice, until around 2:00am; he decided to give something a try.

"I love you, Kens." he could feel Kensi's body loss some of its tension. A small, but noticeable smile appeared along her face.

"I love you too, Deeks." she said while closing her eyes. Deeks could hear her heavy breathing even out, into calm, slow breaths. She had fallen asleep and didn't wake up again that night. Deeks hovered over her calm face, and kissed her on the cheek.

Deeks was making Kensi a surprise breakfast, in her squeaky clean kitchen. When Deeks' had come over for the first time after her traumatizing experience, her apartment was nothing like it had been in the past. Nothing was out of place; everything was organized and perfectly placed. Her fridge was even clean; it was like she had everything on display for a grocery store. Deeks had just finished making the pancake mix, when he heard Kensi scream on the top of her lungs. Deeks ran into the bedroom, and found Kensi on the floor. She was hugging her knees rocking back and forth, with her chin resting on her curled up arms.

"No...No...No...NOOO!" Kensi kept repeating herself, and it was starting to scare Deeks.

"Kensi, you're alright. You're at home, it me Deeks." Deeks had tried to calm her down, but she just kept repeating herself.

"It's me, Deeks. You're at home." Deeks tried to comfort her by rubbing her back, but she shoved him backwards, still repeating the same word. Deeks started to panic; he didn't know what to do, until he decided to call the one person that knew the solution to everything, Hetty.

* * *

The bullpen was quiet. Callen and Sam were just staring at each other, trying to fill in paperwork. "Where is Deeks? He is an hour late!" Sam asked gesturing his hand at Deeks' empty desk. Hetty had walked up to Sam, which made him jump back and face the all knowing Hetty.

"Mr. Deeks is with Ms. Blye, Mr. Hanna," Hetty looked down at her feet, pausing before continuing to speak. "I am afraid that Ms. Blye is not doing well. Mr. Deeks is at her house, and cannot get her to respond to her. He is going to need some help." Hetty stood still, staring at the two men, eyes glued to one another.

"What are you waiting for, Mr. Callen?" Callen and Sam jumped out from behind their desks walking out of the bullpen. They made their way to the front of the building, and Callen stopped before stepping outside. Sam could tell something was on his mind.

"Something wrong, G?" Sam asked, transferred his weight from one foot to the other.

"What do you think is wrong with Kensi? She's never done anything like this before," Callen looked up at

Sam. "This isn't her first traumatic experience, she's been shot at, and she has had near death experiences, this isn't right, Sam" Sam looked down at his feet.

"I hope we can help her...if Deeks can't help her, I don't know who can. She trusts him more than she trusts us." Sam continued to walk out the front door, and approached his Challenger. Callen slipped into the passenger side, with Sam crawling into the drivers. He started the car and pulled onto Sunset Blvd, when Callen asked him a question.

"How did you deal with the...um, uh ordeal" Callen kept his attention to his window, not facing Sam. Sam let out a huge sigh.

"I disconnect myself, when I am in a traumatic place. I tell myself that I don't know the person or people experiencing it with me. I just remember seeing a young woman, through the door screaming in pain. I didn't see, Kensi. I saw someone I didn't know. When it's all over, I reconnect, and that person across from me becomes Kensi again." Sam painfully finished answering Callen's question. Callen turned his attention away from the window and looked over at Sam. Sam continued to talk.

"From what I saw, that young woman went through more pain than I did. I hope she'll be able to make a full recovery and," Sam was cut off by the sound of Callen's phone. It was a text, from Deeks. It said:

"I got Kens to calm down. When u come in we're in the bedroom." Callen laughed at the text.

"Who's it from, G?" Sam asked curiously. Callen smiled at Sam.

"They're in the bedroom...go figure." Sam laughed at the response he had received. They pulled up to Kensi's house and pulled in behind Kensi's SRX. They walked up Kensi's house and knocked on the door. The door was answered by Deeks. His hair was messy and he had dark circles under his eyes.

"I thought you two were in the bedroom!" Sam teased at Deeks.

"You look like crap!" said Callen rudely.

"That's very nice for you to say, Callen," Deeks turned his attention over to Sam. "I'm not even going to comment on that." Deeks stepped out of the way and let the two walk in. The senior agents waited for Deeks to lead the way.

"I managed to get her out of the bedroom; she's in the kitchen now. Can you just stay here, I'll bring her out." Sam and Callen looked at each other, with confused faces. They both sat on Kensi's couch and waited for Deeks and Kensi. Deeks walked in to the kitchen, where he saw Kensi staring out her bay window. Deeks walked up to Kensi, he got down on both knees and placed his hand on her back. She turned her attention over to Deeks, and smiled. Deeks helped her up from the kitchen table and lead her into to the living room, where Sam and Callen were waiting. Kensi and Deeks slowly walked out together. Kensi never stopped looking at Deeks. They were holding hands, fingers weaved together. She was wearing dark grey sweatpants and one of Deeks' LAPD sweatshirts. She looked like she hadn't slept for a month. Sam and Callen stood up from the couch, and started to approach Kensi. Kensi's smile immediately disappeared. Her hand that was entwined with Deeks' started to turn white. She was frightened and scared. Deeks put his free hand in front of him, gesturing for Sam and Callen to stop walking forward. Kensi swallowed hard, and tears started to appear in her eyes. Deeks let go of her hand, which he could tell she didn't like. He put both his hands on her shoulders, and looked into her terrified mismatched eyes.

"Kensi, what's wrong? You remember Callen and Sam, right?" Deeks worryingly asked. Kensi just stood still. Kensi glanced back over at the scary looking men. Kensi immediately brushed Deeks' hands off her shoulders and started to cry, and scream in terror. She was slowly backing away from the intruders in her house. Deeks pulled Kensi in for a tight hug, offering her protection. Kensi placed her head in chest, squeezing him in horror. Deeks' glanced over at Sam and Callen, who were speechless and shocked. Kensi pulled away from Deeks', she was still crying but was no longer screaming. Deeks looked down at her pale face, with tears running down her face. She looked like she just saw a ghost, or two. She backed away from Deeks and noticed the men were still standing in her living room. She slowly reversed till she was standing near the kitchen's threshold. She wiped her eyes with the sleeves of Deeks's shirt. She slowly moved her left hand into the kitchen, she reacted quickly and pointed Deeks' gun in her at Callen and Sam. Deeks looked at her in shock.

"Get out of my house!" Kensi continued to point the gun at the federal agents. Deeks walked over to Kensi with his hands in the air, but she wouldn't let him get any closer. "I said GET OUT!" Kensi had started to cry harder, even more petrified than before. Sam started to speak up, "It's me Sam, and this is Callen, we all work for NCIS. You're our LAPD liaison officer." Sam said with his hands in the air, tilting his head towards Callen. Kensi gripped the gun even harder. Callen attempted to get Kensi to drop the gun.

"Kens, please put down the gun, this isn't you!" Callen steadily tried to say. Kensi moved the gun towards Sam.

"I don't know you two! Why are you in my house?" Kensi paused and turned the gun towards Callen, "Only Deeks can call me 'Kens'...now answer my question!" Kensi again repositioned the gun so it was in between the two men again. Deeks tried to approach Kensi again, but he knew deep down Kensi would not kill someone in cold blood. Kensi kept one hand on the gun, but pointed her hand towards Deeks, "Don't get any closer, please!" Deeks just stood still, holding his hands above his head. Kensi put both hands back on the gun.

"We came here to check up on you, we are worried about you!" Sam seductively said. Kensi was still crying, and her hands were shaking ever so slightly.

"I've never met either one of you before! How could you be worried about me?" her tone was getting more aggressive, and Deeks walked up to her. Kensi backed away and pointed the gun at him.

"Kens, please out the gun down. It's ok, you're safe with me." The worry in Kensi's eyes became less visible, and the guilt started to roll in. She slowly started to lower the gun, and Deeks carefully took it out of her hands. He tucked the gun back into holster on his belt. Kensi dropped to the floor on her knees. She started to cry harder and Deeks bent down, joining her on his knees. He took her head into his hands,

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry," Kensi kept repeating her words until Deeks responded.

"I forgive you, Kens. Everything's going to be alright." Kensi locked her body into Deeks'. Deeks could feel the guilt leave her body, but the fear was coming back. Deeks looked over at Sam and Callen, who had their hand beside their hips.

"Wait for me outside, we have to talk." Deeks cooed that only Sam and Callen could hear. Deeks kept holding Kensi till they left through the front door. Deeks pulled away from Kensi.

"I'm going to make sure those men leave, I'll be back babe." Deeks assured Kensi. "I love you, now stay here, okay?" Kensi just nodded her head, but managed to say "I love you." back to Deeks. Kensi wiped the tears from face, and failed to try to calm herself down, seeing Deeks leave her alone on the floor. Deeks met up with Sam and Callen at the end of Kensi's driveway. Sam approached Deeks with an angry expression.

"Is there something you need to tell us, Deeks? I'm pretty sure I heard you call Kens, 'babe'? What's going on, Deeks?" Deeks looked down at his feet. "Why doesn't see remember us, Deeks? We've worked together for three years?"

"Ok, maybe Kensi and I are together! So what? Right now she needs me! I thought it would be nice for the people she cares about most could be there for her! I thought she would be happy about seeing you again, especially you Sam. I'm sorry that she pointed a gun at you guys."

"Don't worry about it, Deeks. I'm glad that Kensi remembers at least one of us, and that is the person she loves the most. You handled her well in their Deeks. I'm glad you two are finally a thing!" Callen painfully admitted. Sam still looked disappointed and shocked, "Do you think she'll remember, Hetty?"Sam turned towards Callen. "We should call Nate, see if he can help us at all." G looked down at his feet. "What if she doesn't remember Nate? Will she even open up to him?" Callen looked at Deeks, waiting for a response. "I think we should give it a shot, Kens needs help. She's not getting any better." Callen pulled out his phone and dialed Nate's number. Nate picked up after the third ring.

"Hey Nate, its Callen, we need your help. It's about Kensi."

* * *

Deeks walked back into Kensi's house. Kensi was still on the floor in the middle of her living room. She was shaking like wet puppy. Nate was going to be over in an hour, to make a diagnosis on Kensi. Deeks walked up to Kensi, and asked her a question.

"One of my old friends is coming to come over, babe. We need to get you cleaned up," Deeks grabbed Kensi arm and lifted her up, helping her towards the bathroom. They walked into the bathroom and Deeks closed the door behind them. Deeks took Kensi's hair out her messy braid, and lightly brushed it. Deeks helped Kensi slip of her clothes, leaving on her bra and panties. Deeks took off his shirt and pants, but left on his boxers. Kensi still had visible scars on her body; she couldn't bear to look at herself in the mirror. Deeks turned the handle in her shower, and the running started to run from the showerhead. Kensi's shower also had showerheads that came from the ceiling, giving it the effect you're in the rain. He helped Kensi into her shower, and stepped in behind her. Water was coming from the ceiling; water was dripping down each other's backs. Deeks had been staying at Kensi's house for almost 3 weeks, and had brought extra clothes and hygiene products to her house. He grabbed his shampoo and lathered it in his hair. He grabbed Kensi's coconut shampoo and helped her lather it in. Kensi's back was turned to Deeks, but after massaging her head, she had turned to Deeks. Kensi's eyes kept dancing between looking at his baby blue eyes, and his soft pink lips. She was breathing heavily, but felt comfortable around Deeks. Her memories seemed to just fade away. Deeks caressed both hands on her face, and kissed her. Kensi didn't hesitate or pull away. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling herself closer. She had never felt more safe and protected, for the first time in three weeks. They kept kissing for about two minutes, until Kensi had a flashback, remembering the last time they were this close.

"_You gotta cut me lose."Kensi wasn't more terrified before._

"_We don't have much time, and I can't." Deeks kindly said. _

_"Uh, w-wha-what's happening?" Kensi was confused and scared.  
__"You have to stay here just a while longer, okay?" Deeks said._

__Kensi immediately fell into Deeks' arms. Deeks reached for the faucet and turned off the water. He carried Kensi out of the shower, and wrapped her in a towel. He sat her on top of the toilet seat, and dried himself off. He quickly ran into the other room and put on a fresh, dry pair of boxers. He was about to lift Kensi into the bedroom when she spoke up, "Please don't ever leave me again." Kensi attention was staring at the wall behind Deeks; tears were streaming down her face. Deeks picked her up, and carefully carried her to the bedroom. She was placed on the edge of the bed, hair dripping onto the towel wrapped around her body. Deeks helped change her clothes, and dry her hair. She hadn't said anything since being in the bathroom. Deeks french braided her hair, which caught her attention.

"Wh...wh...Where did you learn to braid?" stuttered Kensi. Deeks smiled at Kensi.

"I learned to braid for you, babe. You said you liked men that could braid. So I didn't sleep that night until I knew how too." A smile appeared on Kensi's face, and she turned to face Deeks. "You did that for me?" Deeks smiled and kissed her on the lips. Kensi placed her shaky hands on each side of Deeks' face. Deeks and Kensi kept kissing each other, until they heard the doorbell. Kensi almost jumped out of her skin. Her memories seemed to disappear around Deeks, but once separated everything flashed back at once. The blood, terror, and fear re-entered her brain, causing her body to constantly shake from the overload of flashbacks. Tears formed again in her eyes, which seemed to never stop coming. Deeks was holding her hand, "Babe let's go get the door. It's someone you might recognize." Deeks soothing smile gave her the courage to walk to the door with him, hand in hand. Deeks opened the door and was happy to Nate's face. Nate stood on the doorstep with a briefcase, wearing a topaz suit with a red tie and black shoes. He was cleanly shaven, happy to see Deeks and Kensi. "Hey Deeks, it is nice to see you again!" Nate shook hands with Deeks. To the left of him, he could see Kensi. She was tightly squeezing Deeks' hand, causing her knuckles to go white. Her body language showed fear, which concerned Nate.

"Hey Kensi, there is no need to be startled. Do you remember me? It's me, Nate." Kensi shook head, in confusion. Deeks and Kensi stepped away to let Nate in. Deeks let go of Kensi's hand and closed the door. Deeks motioned for Kensi to take a seat on the couch. She did what she was told, and started to stare into space. Deeks turned towards Nate.

"There are some things you should know before we begin. She's been acting like this for the past three weeks. I'm really worried about her." Deeks cooed. Nate glanced over at Kensi, who was rocking back and forth on the couch. "I was told by Sam and Callen, that you two are together now. Having someone committed to her is going to help her recover," he paused and turned over to Deeks. "Let's find out what's bothering her, shall we?"

Nate walked into the living first, sitting in the chair across from Kensi. Deeks slipped onto the couch beside Kensi. Kensi turned and looked in Deeks eyes and smiled. She entwined her fingers into his and Deeks pecked a kiss on her cheek. Nate had his notebook out, already taking notes.

"Kensi," Kensi immediately took her eyes off Deeks, and turned towards Nate. "I am Dr. Nate Getz, I am here to help you," he paused again, because he saw her hand tightly grasping Deeks, again turning them white. "There is no need to be scared. I've known Deeks for a long time." Kensi glanced over at Deeks, who was nodding his head in agreement. Deeks glanced back at Kensi. "It's okay, Babe. Do you trust me?" Kensi looked into his and nodded her head, taking a deep breath. She looked back at Nate, how was smiling at her. "H...Hello Nate." The hand that was not weaved with Deeks was shaking, which caught Nate's attention. "There is no need to be scared, you're safe with us," he glanced down at his notebook, "Can I ask you some questions, Kensi?" he waited for her to answer. "Yeah, sure." Her response was quick, but shaky. "Okay, the first question is always the hardest, but can you tell me what keeps replaying in your head, and describe it as best you can?" Kensi's face immediately went pale, and her whole body started to shake. Tears were streaming down her face. Nate glanced at Deeks, who was very concerned for his girlfriend. "Are you sure that was the best question to start with?" Deeks asked carefully.

"Yes, she's going to breakthrough and she will tell us. Has she told you what she felt like while being tortured?" Nate could tell by the way she was reacting she hadn't told anybody. Deeks shook his head, and squeezed Kensi's hand in reassurance. "Kensi, please tell me what you keep thinking about, I would like to know." Kensi wiped a tear from her face and cleared her throat. "Tell me where it all began."

"I remember driving my car, to this house," she was still shaking, and she was slowly leaning closer to Deeks. "I got there; I had my gun pointed up at men keeping another man under the water. They made me hand over my gun, for exchange for a key. I remember jumping into the water, but I don't remember getting out." Tears were still freely falling down her face; there was now no space between her and Deeks. "I then woke up, and I was strapped to a chair with belts." Her voice cracked, but she continued her story. "The same man I tried to save was strapped to a chair with wires attached to him. I could hear these men, yelling at him." She turned towards Deeks, who had tears in his eyes. "After half an hour, they came out of the other room, and they asked me something about a girl named Michele." Kensi had her hand over her mouth, like she was going to throw up. She was shaking more than she ever was before. She removed her hand, "I didn't say anything and they attached something to my mouth, to make it stay open. Then the next thing I know, there's a drill in my mouth. The kept drilling and I kept screaming, yelling for help, and it never came."

"And then what happened?" Nate asked curiously.

"Deeks and Granger came running in, and I never felt so happy in my life," she paused and turned to Deeks, who also had tears running down his face. "I was told that I would have to wait a little longer. And the fear ran back into my body, and it hasn't gone away since." Nate quickly jolted down some notes and asked Kensi another question, "Is there anything or anyone that makes you forget everything?" Kensi turned her entire body towards Deeks.

"Deeks can. Whenever he touches me, or kisses me it makes me feel at home. It makes me feel special, and loved. He makes me feel happy again." Kensi smiled at Deeks, who was crying and smiling with Kensi. "I love you, Marty." The use of Deeks' last name caught him off guard. He knew that by using his first name, she truly was in love with her. "But when he lets go, it all comes rushing back, and I start to lose myself again." She turned back over to Nate, who had pictures of people she didn't recognize. This was going to be a long day.

* * *

Kensi had gone to bed, and was waiting for Deeks to join her. Nate was getting ready to leave; he had packed up his briefcase and approached Deeks.

"What are her diagnoses, Nate?" Deeks asked, with fear underlining his words.

"She has PTSD (posttraumatic stress disorder) and acute amnesia. Her brain is trying to register the events that have occurred in the past week. Her body is trying to figure what's going on. She's confused and scared, and the only person from the team she recognizes is you. You're the one that she thinks about to forget everything. She only remembers the times you two have spent together. I have never seen anyone like this before. It's remarkable. Usually someone forgets everything and everyone, but you...you never left her mind. She must really love you." Deeks looked down at his feet, and rocked on his heels.

"Thank you, Nate. I'll keep you posted." Deeks opened the door and let Nate out. He walked Deeks kept replaying the same four words in his head, _"I love you, Marty."_


End file.
